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Self-Growth

Self-Growth: Don’t Blow It!

You ever come across something or someone special and your immediate reaction is, “DON’T BLOW IT”? I mean, before you have even given a new opportunity or relationship a chance to materialize, you immediately begin to place unnecessary pressure on yourself to perform, to succeed, to get the job, land the man, etc. No? Just me huh? Well…

Why do I do this to myself?

It is obvious to me (albeit, after the fact) that stressing myself out over what I want but cannot control does no good for me. I can turn on all the charm, have a stellar résumé, etc. but I still have no power to hire myself in someone else’s corporation. The company can go with me or a hundred others. Likewise, I can obsess over a guy or some fantasy courtship that I created in my mind, but if the relationship is not meant to be, it WON’T BE…regardless of how much I would want it to be or how much I push the issue.

On the surface, someone like me would say that I’m a “Don’t Blow It” type of person because I’m a perfectionist & a control freak. There is some merit in making those connections. If “I” don’t blow it, then “I” get what “I” want (control freak) & everything turns out great once that happens 100% of the time (perfectionist).

However, I think the real issue here for the “Don’t Blow It” types is INSECURITY. It’s me thinking that the quality of my life would not be good enough if these things were not present. So since, in my insecure mind, my happiness & fulfillment is hinging on the perfect career, mate, etc. not only must I do all I can to succeed (a reasonable reaction) but I mustn’t dear blow it (unreasonable).

This should not be so.

I find that when I peel back the layers of what society or even close loved ones in my circle of family & friends have told me MUST HAPPEN in order to feel complete, it all falls short. What I’m getting at is this: when I was a child, or even a teenager, what made me feel whole back then? Love, joy, peace, comfort and safety. I had my awesome relationships with God, family & friends. Why are those things not good enough now? Why am I made to feel like if I don’t have more than the basics of human happiness & contentment, then I will have none of it at all? Adulthood is a serious thing. Constantly striving to compete & measure up against the lives of others is the driving force behind a “Don’t Blow It” mentality. Forget what you thought. It has nothing to do with ambition or excellence but is strongly rooted in insecurity brought on by ill-conceived notions.

When a great opportunity arises, whether it be a promotion, a higher paying job, starting your own business, finding a future spouse, etc. commit to being your best. But know that you have just as much of a chance of failure as you do of success. And that’s fine. Still take that chance. If you succeed, great. But if you fail, not only are there lessons to be learned, but know that you will live to try again. There is no need stress out, obsess over or place pressure on yourself because of new situations or love prospects. Starting off this way can almost guarantee that you will blow it.

Encourage yourself, quiet your emotions.

~BahSun

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About BahSun

Bahamas born. Addicted to travel. In love with sunflowers. Blogging through my discovery of self & the world around me.

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